Friday, March 20, 2015

{#sol15} perception 20/31


The March Slice of Life Story Challenge
hosted at the Two Writing Teachers
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Last night after dinner, we all just wanted to relax and have a movie night.

M. was not having it.  She's my busy body and wants to be doing and going and moving.

"How about .... we go for a bike ride?"  She suggested with a smile and a laugh because she didn't think we would go for it.

"That sounds like a great idea!  Let's just hop on the bikes, go around the block for a quick ride, and then relax!" I agreed.

She gave me a surprised look, and then Daddy and P. quickly agreed as well.  We were out the door in minutes and then second guessed our decision.  It was a bit colder than we expected, but we agreed to get some fresh air and a little movement.  

We rode around the big block by our house that goes all the way around the village hall and community center building.  As we were passing the front of the building, there were some younger middle school girls out front, probably waiting for a ride.

Daddy and P. were in front of us and I heard the girls say something to each other that I couldn't quite decipher, pointed and then they laughed.  

M. and I rode by and there was more laughing.  I turned my ear their way wondering what might be said next.  There were more words.  I couldn't understand, but it was definitely about us.

My only guess is that they liked our cool trail-a-bikes or thought the girls looked cute.  That's what we usually hear when we are out and about.  I wasn't going to make it a big deal in my mind because I wouldn't have done anything about it anyway ...

 ... until not even five seconds later I heard, "Mommy?  I think those girls laughed at me.  Why did they laugh at me?"

My heart. just. broke.  My busy body girl is also sensitive.

"Oh, no, honey, they weren't laughing at you.  I heard them laughing too and I think they just really liked our bikes and thought you guys looked cute riding on them."  I wanted to validate her feelings and her perception of the situation.  But  I held my breath. 

"Oh.  I heard them laughing and looking ..."   

As a mother, I had not experienced that feeling before of my almost five year old daughter feeling self-conscious or inadequate or different.  Or just being laughed at without knowing why.

I'm going to need to build up my repertoire of responses because one day it will happen for real.  One day her feelings will be hurt and I need her to know to be strong and know who she is.

I just wasn't ready for it yet ...   




10 comments:

  1. hard stuff sometimes, this mama gig. we have hit the stage where it has happened for real and it breaks your heart, even as your binding hers up.

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  2. Those words and looks that make us all feel inadequate and feeling hurt, but the constant building up and encouragement will bolster their (and our) confidence. Mothering isn't easy and there are no pat answers, but with God's help He'll give us the words to say. Hugs, Mom

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  3. My hair was standing at the back of my neck reading and anticipating exactly what happened! My first reaction is to get off the bike and "nicely" tell the girls how rude they are...but you did exactly the right thing, knowing you didn't have the exact words. Young girls can be so mean and I hope your girls never have to deal with that. But as we both know not realistic, but knowing you, you will find the words. xoxo

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  4. One of the hardest lessons we all have to learn is, it's a cruel and beautiful world. I'm sorry your sweet little one is having to experience this at such a young age. Mean people (especially catty middle school girls) criticize more than they contribute, and our job as parents isn't to protect our kids from heartache, but instead teach them to be light in a sometimes cloudy world.

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  5. I read and my mom heart ached. Love and talking will help to build the armor.

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  6. This made my heart hurt. Just wrap her in love.

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  7. I hate these kind of parenting moments. There are never the right words when people you love are sad or hurting.

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  8. I'm so glad that you were spontaneous and surprised your daughter by agreeing (and getting fresh air). I am sorry about the middle school girls. Situations like that are so hard because you never know for sure whether it is well-intended or not. I think you responded just right. Your convictions to think about a perspective of strength in self are an inspiration for me as a mom.

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  9. My first thoughts are of my own daughters - both teenagers. They would have been the girls saying "Look! How cute!" Or something similar. I know it in my heart. I hope my heart is right! As a mom, you will always find the words. Moms always do! Think of your own mom...

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  10. And in these moments she will learn how she can always talk to mom. <3

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.