Tuesday, April 8, 2014

sol: {a number}



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My birthday was last week.  My husband's birthday was yesterday.

For one week we are the same age.  (And that age is really bothering me.)  He is now one year older.  And it's not bothering him.  He says it's just a number.  He says that you are only as old as you feel.  He says to enjoy the life you have now.  He even says that the older I get, the longer he will have loved me.

I have never had an issue with age before.  Twenty-nine to thirty.  No problem.  Early thirties.  Easy.  I was even okay with thirty-five and thirty-six and thirty-seven.

I was okay with sharing my age. Telling my students the year I was born and letting them do the math.  I usually had to do the math too because age wasn't a concern.  I even had no issues when they started saying that I was older than their parents.

But for ten days I have not forgotten my age.  For ten days I have been thirty-eight and this number scares me.  Really scares me.  It's not that I don't feel thirty-eight, whatever that is supposed to feel like.  I still feel the same.

Perhaps the closest biggest step is (shhh!) forty.  That scares me a little.  Yet, I know forty is not old like it used to be years ago. (You know, when I was younger.)  Fifty and even sixty these days aren't considered old, especially when everyone is looking great and active and healthy.

Age truly can't be defined by a number.

But have I really lived a life of almost forty years on this earth?  And why am I letting thirty-eight bother me?  I still have two years (less than 730 days) before that big four-oh comes.  I need to listen to my husband.  It's just a number.  I'm only as old as I feel.  I need to enjoy my life now.  I need to let my husband love me more.

But, just so you know, I'm still cringing at the thought of thirty-eight.  (Ugh.)

10 comments:

  1. I agree with J. Age is just a number - enjoy and thank God for every day that you share together and with family. But, I sure don't know how you got THAT old when I'm still so young! Love ya, Mom

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  2. Your husband is a wise man, it is only a number. I think it is rather fun to explore the world of the current number. It's fun when people are amazed at your number. I am amazed by other's numbers too. Embrace the number because if there is no number the world loses a special voice.

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  3. I love your mom's comment :) I turned 40 last month and my mom's comment to me was "I guess people are really not going to believe I'm 39 anymore." :)
    I still tell my students I'm 29. It only works with the younger kids…

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  4. I can understand you. Turning 40 was scary. (Especially when mom pointed out that it was half 80. Calling it double-twenty made it sound so much better.) Having the first child turning 18 was worse than turning 40. 41 was just a number. Now, 42 is just a number. I guess the next aging moment will come when I become a grandmother or turn 50. I hope the latter comes first.

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  5. Age really is just a number. For some reason my age never bothered me. As I got closer to sixty I just kept thinking, "One year closer to retirement." Now that I did retire at 62 it is like starting life all over again, only with a bit more knowledge and sense (hopefully).

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  6. I love what your husband said about how it just means he's loved you another year. How sweet.

    I'm turning 39 in a couple of months and I could cry. Really. It never bothered me before either. But 40 bothers me. A LOT. I'm with you. Let's not think about it, ok?

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  7. Some birthdays just seem more significant than others. I never dreaded them either but this year I go on medicare and boy is that giving me the heme jemes. When my son turned 40 this year I told him that I would lie about his age if he would. Sounds like your mother has a better attitude than me.

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  8. Your mom is right. I'm now surprised that my children are that old, Michelle! Somehow some of the birthday numbers did bother me, don't know why, maybe a chance comment somewhere. I wrote a post about age sometime in March. I have a drawing of a man who asked that question, "How old would you be if you did not know how old you were?" It speaks to me every day! Best to you Michelle!

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  9. Michelle - Thirty-eight is a good age. Forty is too. You'll have fun in your forties. :-)

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.