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Today is a milestone day.  It's not even the "real" day.  Or the first day.  But it's THE day that begins to make it all real before the first real day.  (Sigh.)

My twin four and a half year old daughters will be five in May -- and that magic age signals registration for ...

Kindergarten.

It's even hard for me to say it.  I make a sad pouty face.  I can only whisper the word.  Then I wonder where the years went.  Big tears fill my eyes.  I wonder how my beautiful baby girls are almost five years old and ready for ...

Kindergarten.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm super excited for the girls.  I want them to love going to school.  I want them to be excited to learn to read and write.  I want them to meet new friends.  I want them to love their teacher.  I'm just not sure that I am ready for ...

Kindergarten.

We have been casually talking about it, trying to create the excitement about going to the big school in the neighborhood.  Reminding them of the neighbor friends that will be there.  Talking about the expectations and all the exciting opportunities.

But I'm secretly agreeing with P.'s recent comments:  "Ok.  I'll turn five and eat my cake, but I'm NOT going to kindergarten," she matter-of-factly stated as she stomped her foot.

M. explained her fear about going to kindergarten: "I don't want to have to go to the principal's room," she responded, and then she grinned at me as I wondered where she even heard this.

Kindergarten.

Perhaps I am uncomfortable with being on the "other side" of the school system and participating as a parent.  This is all new to me.  I know I will learn from the new school experiences and be able to use what I learn to connect with more parents as a teacher at my school.

I'm also reminded how much trust our parents and families give us every day -- entrusting their babies, their whole worlds, their everything.  And soon it will be my turn to do the same.

Kindergarten.

I continue to worry because I have been told on many occasions, "Once they start school, the years go by faster ..."  I don't want it to go any faster.  I want to hold onto my four and a half year old girls.  I want them to stop growing older ... but when I tell them that they quickly respond, "But Mom, I can't control it."

It will be exciting and scary for us all as we head to our neighborhood school this evening for ...

Kindergarten registration.

There.  I said it.  Without a whisper or a tear.

Kindergarten.  Kindergarten.  Kindergarten.

We can do this ... 

Right?!?

Comments

  1. Love the hushed tone! I remember kindergarten coming with a tear as well as a sense of relief that the days of day care were over. You've got a leg up being a teacher yourself. You've totally got this!

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  2. I don't have kids of my own, though I've seen several friends go through this, but the way you write this slice, whispering the word, allows me to really understand how this must feel. Though I'm sure it will be sad, I know everything will be okay too.

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  3. I can only imagine.... As I remember the night :-). The girls will be great and so will you! XO

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  4. Michelle, It seems like you were just slicing about the transition from their cribs to their beds. Kindergarten already! I have been thinking about how quickly phases move in my girls lives lately as my youngest will almost be two and knowing that before long she won't be wearing diapers, before long she will move to a regular bed, before long she will be talking more, before long she will be in kindergarten...

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  5. Isn't it amazing how quickly time passes? I have a sixth grader this year! When did that happen? Why does my nine year old look so...old? Didn't I just buy my six year old new pants? Why are they so short? And let's not even talk about my almost four year old. We are getting ready for the p word at my house. Yep, that's right, preschool here we come. It all just makes you want to hold on a little tighter, doesn't it?

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  6. Right. You can do this. It doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel the way you do. From my experience as a mother and a teacher the children do it better than the parents. I am curious to know where M. learned about the principal's room.
    Love the structure of your slice. It supports your voice.

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  7. This IS big. I was just talking with Dana about this earlier today since her daughter is going to Kindergarten next year and Isabelle has another year and a half. I get where you're coming from. It's such a huge step in their lives!

    I appreciated the way you played around with font size and boldface in this post. It really brought our your voice. Would you mind if I used it as a "be inspired" piece on my call for slice of life stories in early March (for the SOLSC)? If that'd be okay, please email me this week at stacey [at] staceyshubitz [dot] com and lmk.

    Thanks!

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  8. Where have these first 4-1/2 years gone? I remember bringing them home from the hospital (and the apprehension on hubby's part). I remember the cuddling and cooing and feeding and ..... All has gone by so quickly. Kindergarten - just another step in their lives (and yours). Exciting and scary times, but they (and you) will survive and move on to the next phase. Looking forward to sharing those momentous occasions! Love ya, Mom

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  9. Kindergarten is the beginning of a whole new adventure - you will all love and thrive on the journey ahead.

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  10. I've been reading about these girls since they were so young, hard to believe that it is time for Kindergarten. Years do seem to fly, but they are also filled with joyful things, Michelle.

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  11. Yes you can do this...but it's hard for me to believe that these young miracles are old enough for KINDERGARTEN. I suspect, however, that THEY will LOVE it,once they are there. I suspect, you will love it, once they are there!

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  12. I can't believe they are already 4-1/2. The days are slow and the years go fast, I've been told! I know you will be an awesome, supportive kindergarten parent who will make lots of new neighborhood friends. It's going to be magical and hard all at the same time!

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  13. I feel like I was just reading about potty training and now the girls are in kindergarten??????!!!!! Holy cow! Time really does fly! This is a beautiful piece of writing, I love the repetition of the word kindergarten! I also love the comment about eating cake but not going to school! Absolutely perfect! Can't wait to hear how registration goes!

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  14. You have captured this so well. Be brave! :)

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  15. Oh, jeez. I was a mess when my oldest started Kindergarten. It was mostly the bus thing that would make me cry...such a little girl on such a big bus, being carried away from me! But she loves, loves, loves school and it's been so much fun watching her learn to read and write and master numbers. Now, my second oldest is about turn 5 and start Kindergarten, and even with experience, I'm still a mess thinking about it. LOL.

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  16. Oh Michelle, I love how you expressed your feelings about this big moment in their lives...in your life...You are so wonderful.

    Since my oldest started, I have prayed a verse from Joshua for the kids every day... "May Annie, Eliza and Ethan be strong and courageous. Never terrified or discouraged because You are with them wherever they go." Praying those words with them also helped ME be strong and courageous. :0)

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  17. Where did the years go? That is the question, isn't it? I'm teary-eyed just reading your piece. Kindergarten. Sigh.

    I, too, was suddenly struck by the trust parents place in us as teachers. I've been teaching for 14 years, and I guess I didn't really "get" that piece until it was my turn.

    We can do this. We can.

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  18. Oh my, Michelle, you're post and how kindergarten whispered itself bold by the end of your thoughts reminds me of my own parent struggles with {high school}. It seems like just yesterday that my son's kindergarten's teacher was patting me on the back the first day of school. I think Terje's right, my son seems to be handling it much better than I am.

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