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I was holding one in my arms and the other slowly walking beside me up to the door. It was day three of visiting the day care. Just thirty minutes of observing. Allowing time for the girls to adjust, to feel more comfortable, to make the transition easier.
Who am I kidding? The visits were more for me. I needed to observe. I needed to adjust, to feel more comfortable, to make my transition easier. I'm not feeling it.
It's hard to trust someone that you are suppose to trust, but you don't really know.
I opened the door and we walked into Miss K's home. One clutching my chest, the other suction cupped to my leg.
The worry in their eyes. The tears started to fall. And not from me. Yet.
Miss K mumbled something under her breath.
"What's that?" I asked, not really knowing the routine, still trying to scoot inside and close the door.
"Just go." Miss K said matter-of-factly.
"Just go?" I whispered.
"Yeah, why don't you just go? Then the girls will know that when they come here, you will not be staying."
"Just go." I had to tell myself again out loud.
She pried one from my leg. The crying. She released the suction from the one on my leg.
The screaming. She turned me around and nudged me out the door.
I walked away hearing their screams. Oh God. What did I just do? I trudged down the driveway back to my car where my mom was waiting. She stared at me with a puzzled look.
"She told me just to go." The tears began to drop like a water fall.
Thank goodness my mom was there to comfort me. Her kind words. Her knowledge and experience. Her supportive advice. The mocha frappe, her treat.
We picked up the girls a half an hour later. They were calm, until they saw me.
We all survived. Looking back, I'm glad Miss K told me to just go. And my mom was there. Moms are always there when you need them the most.
Right girls? Momma came back.