Tuesday, October 17, 2017

{It's just not the same} #sol17



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Last night as I sat watching my girls tumble at gymnastics, I picked up my pen and notebook. I started with these words: What to write? And this is what spilled on the page ... straight from my heart.


What to write ...

I wonder, think, ponder.

My words are hard to find today.

There are many celebrations and joys to share, but the darkness of frustration and loneliness hide them temporarily.

What to write?

I question, grumble, sigh.

My words are bubbling to the surface.

My closest colleague, thinking partner, and dearest friend and I were separated this school year. Two new positions in two different schools.

What to write!

My words boil with disappointment.

I feel the longing to turn and talk, the divide between us, the sadness fills my heart.

This teammate was the one who consistently pushed me in my learning and helped me outgrow my brain. Every. Single. Day.

What to write?

My words begin to simmer ...

I slowly release, relax my shoulders, close my eyes.

These moments don't last long. A text, a phone call, or an email from my friend reminds me.

What to write ...

My words fill the pages of my notebook.

I exhale, smile, pick up the phone.

Even though we are not making a difference side-by-side anymore, we are still finding ways to work and learn and grow together.

It's just not the same.



7 comments:

  1. This happened to me too. I'm still missing this dear colleague every single day! Here's hoping you two can stay connected and continue to help each other be the best you can be.

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  2. The best thing is that you are still there for each other, even if it is at different schools. I know it's not as simple as turning around and being there for each other, but there are so many ways to communicate and lean on each other. You are each viewing things from different perspectives and this will help both of you grow. Hang in there! Love ya, Mom

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  3. Love the structure of this piece and the idea of being pushed to outgrow your brain. What a great image! Sounds like somehow you are making it work.

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  4. It all changes when you're in different schools, doesn't it? Hopefully you can continue to connect outside the school day.

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  5. You know your way. with words to let them flow, expressing beautifully what’s in your heart.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.