Tuesday, November 24, 2015

{a writing battle) #sol15


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I have rarely missed a Tuesday Slice of Life over the last five years ... until this school year.  This year has provided many bumps in the road, ups and downs, straight up exhaustion.  Time, energy, and the balance of life have not been friendly.  I have not lived the writerly life.  Nor visited old and new friends to hear their stories each week.

Tuesdays would come and go.

Of course I would think about writing.  I would miss writing.  I would wonder about you.  I would ache not reading your stories.  Eventually I would open my laptop briefly. Then fight the tapping of my fingertips on my keyboard -- wondering where my story was hiding.  I have stories, just like all of you.  But my stories were captured inside me and silent.

And then Tuesday would come and go.

For me, I'm fighting my inner battles of what to share, how to share, how much to share.  It's nothing horrible, but it's life at its busiest, most stressful, trying to balance it all, and listening to that inner critic that shouts of disgust: your story is worthless, you have nothing to share, your reflections, thoughts, words are not good enough ... Yet, I know this is the story of every writer.

Tuesday would come and I would still write.

I used to write for me every Tuesday to share my words, my stories, to remember, to hold on to, to laugh and to cry, to connect, to practice and practice and write and write, to learn, to reflect, to be the writer I thought maybe I could be.  I would share stories about my daughters and stories about my students and stories about learning.  I had a story and I was willing to click that orange 'Publish' button without fear every Tuesday.  I'm not letting today come and go without stepping out on that ledge --

Tuesday is here and I'm writing.  I'm winning this writing battle.  At least for today.

12 comments:

  1. So glad you wrote today! I agree with you- it's really, really hard this year to keep posting. Hope everything is ok and the girls are adjusting to school!

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  2. Yay! A battle won for the day. I have had so many Tuesdays pass by with no writing... and so many other days.... so I have decided to celebrate the times when I do write... and not concentrate on the times that I don't. I'm glad you were able to write today. :-)

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  3. Glad to read any words from you, Michelle. Good for you for writing and pushing that button. Things just get in the way, and I don't have a full family to care for and a full-time job! Hugs for a nice Thanksgiving, long weekend.

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  4. Don't be s hard on yourself my dear friend . . . I wonder how you are able to keep it all going for goodness sakes! ;-) I'm glad you won today because I miss hearing about what's going on with you, but if next week the other guy "wins" so be it! Happy Thanksgiving Michelle, enjoy the time off with hubby and the girls! xoxoxo

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  5. I, too, have neglected to write on Tuesdays. The time slips by, my school blog needs my attention, my lessons need my attention, life needs my attention. Still, though, I know that the unexamined life has less meaning, and unless I blog, my life is unexamined (or not as deeply examined). Thanks for sharing your struggles. I get it. I'm glad you wrote today.

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  6. Your slice was the first I read, and it was a relief to see that my new struggle is the same one you describe after five years of slicing! I am three slices into my journey, and already missed the last two weeks. I was glad to win this week, and get my words out of my head and into a slice. I hope you find your momentum again. I am seeking my own, and was grateful that your words could both reassure and inspire me today. Thank you!

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  7. So glad that you found the time today to write. I know it's been a struggle just keeping up with life this school year, but things will smooth out and you will find those spare moments to share. Looking forward to the rest of this Thanksgiving week. Hugs, Mom

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  8. It's interesting how something so personally important ends up off the to-do list in favour of things that feel more urgent. I, too, have missed writing regularly. Last school year I was up at 5:30 every day to write for at least 30 minutes. EVERY DAY! This year I can barely manage Tuesday's, and even that is pushed aside many times. Let's set a goal to meet her every Tuesday in December...a little bit of personal time in the midst of the busy December days!

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  9. I wrote much the same about my dilemma about not being able to write much. I have been trying to finishe a novel, revise another and it seems like I am in a holding pattern. Those demons that sit on our shoulders and ask why we think we can write need to be booted to the curb. Such an honest, powerful piece Michelle. So glad you wrote.

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  10. I've missed you. I've missed your words. I've missed your stories and poetry. I understand you. Write when you can. I'll be her when you show up. Wishing that when a busy life keeps you from writing you will find time to breathe and take care of yourself. I know you are always there for your girls. Hugs.

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  11. You are inspiring as a Jesus follower, wife, mom, teacher and writer. xo

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.