Tuesday, November 4, 2014

{sol} something is different


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I can't quite put my finger on what is different this school year.

I'm busy with home and with school.  Always something new happening.  Always trying to keep up.  Always not quite meeting my own expectations.   Giving and giving and giving of myself and my time and my energy.

Then tonight I read Dana's slice about the tightrope -- the pulls of being a mom and being a teacher and all we can keep doing is put one foot in front of the other.

Our lives are so full and there is so much to be thankful for every single day.  And yet, it's hard.  I struggle.  I want the best for everyone, for everything, for everywhere.  Balancing on that tightrope.

Then tonight I read my mom's slice about her mission trip to Guatemala -- so promising in a world I know nothing about nor could I fathom the struggles of life beyond what I know.

I'm busy all day long.  I'm accomplishing what I need to get done when I need to get it done.  But it's never enough.  And it's never good enough (in my eyes).  Yet, I still push forward, going through the motions of life.

Then tonight I read Elsie's 100 things gratitude list slice -- full of the little things that mean so much in life.

I need to work on that little list too.

Reminding myself that time to write each Tuesday is important for me.  Carving time into my schedule to write hasn't been a priority.

And time to read other's words and slices is fulfilling too.  Finding pockets of time to read, share, and connect through your words has been difficult.

Even when my life feels too full and I'm too tired all because this year is just different.

9 comments:

  1. Hugs to you Michelle, for still writing and sharing!

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  2. I am glad that you still blog. Even if it is little bit at a time. Years change. Make sure you find time to breathe and recharge. Hugs.

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  3. Walking that tightrope, struggling to balance life, trying to meet all of your expectations - I can hear in your words that at this time of your life, it's difficult. As I (listen to your Mom) have said before, Take time for yourself - write, read, share. Each day, month, year will be different and always changing. Hang in there, persevere and cherish each moment. Hugs. Love you bunches. Mom

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  4. Balancing is hard! But cut yourself some slack. When you said, "...It's never good enough..." I thought about how we often make things harder for ourselves by wanting everything perfect. I've not given up on making beds, but they aren't as perfect as they were when I was home all day. I've not given up on having a clean desk at school, but....oh wait, yes I have given up on that. :) I have too many other things to do with my prep time so I can go home on time!

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  5. I'm glad you can find the time/opportunity to write and read. You give your all each and every day. You make a difference. Remember that. :-)

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  6. Michelle, I can empathize with this post so much. I never feel enough either, never feel caught up. I need to make a list of 100 things, too. I need to remember the good stuff. Keep chugging along.... you're doing great!

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  7. I know how you feel - not enough time and so many pulls. But I'm glad you read some slices that made you feel you could dip your toes back in the SOL circle.

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  8. Hi Michelle,

    I remember reading this post a few weeks ago, when I first discovered the wonderful Tuesday Slice community, and thought I commented on it, because I was so moved by your words... as though you had looked inside my head and heart. I don't see a comment from me, though, so perhaps I 'thought' it, but never actually wrote it... or I was still stumbling around with posting comments in Blogger, since moving to WP.

    Yes, it's been THAT kind of year for me, too. :/

    Wanted to take a minute to say thank you for posting your thoughts and finding time to engage with fellow bloggers. I'm a new slicer (but old blogger & teacher), trying to find time in between classroom life (HS) and family life (busy wifey in Florida) to write and read... build community beyond my current school... in an attempt to hang on.

    You are right... things are different this year. Sadly. After 20+ years, I'm ready for a change .....

    Hoping you're finding rest, fun, and lots of family time this holiday weekend!

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.