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{time together} #sol18

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My twin daughters usually do everything together. To be honest, it makes life a little easier for us.  However, I am learning that it isn't always feasible and it's not always the best choice.

For example, think about school. I thought it would be great to keep them together.  One teacher, one set of expectations, same homework. My husband disagreed. The girls reside in separate classrooms and it has been a positive experience for both. They have truly blossomed as little people and students with different teachers and new friends.

After school activities and sports is another "team" approach. The girls have agreed on trying ice hockey, dance, gymnastics and soccer. We stuck with gymnastics and soccer. Recently, one of my daughters moved up a level in gymnastics. For one session I kept her together with her sister because it was easier on our schedule. But the next time we were ready to sign up, I didn't want to hold her back. So, we agreed to separate. Again. And this extended our evenings at the YMCA from 5 until 7:45 pm. And I still had to think about dinner and homework.

Yet, again, I'm surprised by the benefits of this change. First of all, the girls are getting what they need to improve in their skills at gymnastics. Second, this provides me with one-on-one time with each girl. We spend our time together at the cafe, eating a light dinner, and talking. Without sister interruptions. Then we read together, do homework, and play a game. Then it's time to switch. The other one goes to gymnastics and then it's my time with my other daughter.

This is my favorite night of the week. Life slows down and the time with each girl is special. I have had many parents tell me to spend time with each child independently, but sometimes the schedule doesn't allow for that! We are a family that lives life together!

But now I'm seeing the opportunities for conversations and special moments. Our goal is to incorporate more time with each child alone -- they need this as much as we do! It must be exciting to be a twin, but it also provides its own challenges. Like never getting away from your sister!

Time together. Isn't that what all kids want anyway? More than anything else? Time together. And it is so worth it.





Comments

  1. I can certainly understand wanting to keep them together in after school activities, but look at the joy you are getting by letting them go their separate ways :)

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  2. Cool. I never thought about the challenges in raising twins. Ice hockey is a possible sport? Y'all must live way up north....lol. I was great at 6-man football. I lasted longest in organized soccer, but I played half-court basketball until my late 30's.

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  3. I have taught sets of twins for the past 5 years, and I always think about the pros and cons of having them in the same class. Thank you for sharing this parent perspective on why a little alone time can be beneficial.

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  4. You clearly put what iss best for the girls first. And even when the schedule becomes challenging you are able to find the positive in it. One-to-one time is super valuable.

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  5. The best part of being separated is that they still enj0y each other and have grown as individuals and twins. I'm glad that you're getting some "alone" time with each of them. They need it as well as you need it. Love ya, Mom

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  6. Although my kids are not twins, my husband and I would take turns giving them each alone time with us. I think that is so important, and you get to enjoy the best of both of them!

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  7. Ooh, I love that something that could have easily been extra stress is actually a newfound treat! It's wonderful that you are taking advantage of this special time with each girl!

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  8. I love how you found joy in something you worried about and that you are embracing their celebrations apart.

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  9. It sounds like this has evolved into a really special time with your girls. I bet they love it too! And once again, I can't believe how old they are! I remember when you were writing about potty training!

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  10. I love how things work out!
    What a gift to have with both girls!
    God knows.

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